Monday, January 17, 2011

What's in your crapper?

I live in a nice house.  My husband works hard to provide for our family.  We have a bedroom for each kid, a couple of bathrooms, a room labled as a "living room" that we absolutely never let anyone "live" in, and there  is a Dining room (which I almost never let anyone Dine in), and a breakfast room which is piled high with homework, folded laundry, groceries waiting to be unpacked and a general hodge podge of stuff that seems to just land there.  We have a powder room, which I have never powdered or displayed powder in.  But as puzzling as the titles of the myriad of rooms is, the one that puzzles me the most is the garage.

I know the garage is supposed to house cars, or so I'm told.  Since mine doesn't, so I am tempted to rename it.  It has lawn equipment, power tools, gardening supplies, Christmas decorations, sporting goods, temporarily unused furniture, camping supplies, an air hockey table, a ping pong table, boxes of college and high school memorabilia, empty moving boxes (in case I move again), and a couple of old appliances.    With all that crap, I don't know why we don't just call it the crapper.  Crude yes, but somewhat accurate.  Although it might be a great source of confusion when the kids ask "Mom, where is my baseball glove?"  and I reply, "go look in the crapper".

My family is quite accustomed to the condition of our garage.  I am however embarrassed when the kids want a bike or some such thing from the garage, and they stand there with a collection of neighborhood kids and press the button that causes that big metal door to slowly creek open. On these occassions, I hide in the shadows hoping none of the adult neighbors see just how much junk we actually have in our crapper.  Then one day I realized, none of my neighbors are getting their cars in the garage either.  Night after night, tens of thousands of dollars worth of cars sit on driveways while tens of thousands of dollars in construction costs for a garage are used to house tens of dollars of miscellaneous crap from our lives we just can't seem to part with.  This is an American phenomenon.  We are all junked to the hilt.  Some people have their garage full and then rent additional space.

And just when I thought I had come to grips with the normalcy of my crapper,  I drove by and saw the one house... where the garage door almost always stays open.

Inside there is not only one car, but two shiny cars.  Hooks on the wall hold a rake and a garden hose, and tidy cabinets that hint maybe they have a little crap at least... until I saw them open the cabinet and it displayed neatly organized  tools.  There are sockets in size order and power tools in their original boxes with warranty information securely stored inside.  For a brief moment I thought I can clean my garage out and make it look like that.  I just need a weekend, or twelve, and a really successful garage sale...  But in all reality, I'll never have that garage.

But there is still hope, even for those of us with crappers instead of garages.  You too can still impress (rather than shock) your neighbors with your garage.  A company in Germany called Style Your Garage  is printing these fabulous decals for your garage door.

 Imagine what your neighbros will think when they drive by and see this...

Now this one is a Garage....

Wanna Make them jealous of your landscaping???

How about just making them say "hmmmm"

This one will really make them scratch their heads...

And perhaps my favorite... just in case you have Wylie Coyote on your tail....

They will even customize a garage decal for you from a family photo or a favorite vacation destination.  I think I'll just take a picture of that neighbor with the dream garage... and then maybe I can at least convince a few people that I have a garage instead of a crapper.  

1 comment:

  1. Love this one - and I can totally relate!


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