Saturday, January 8, 2011

Over The Shoulder Boulder Holders

My poor children.  I absolutely hate to go bra shopping.  But today I could no longer avoid the process.  One of my daughters (who has asked to remain anonymous) has needed new bras for an embarrassingly long period of time.  Unfortunately for her she has inherited a very healthy bosom, and cannot shop at Victoria's Secret or get the cute polka dot and zebra striped bras that so many of her peers have.  She was stuck shopping in the section of bras that truly earn the title "over the shoulder boulder holders".  Full coverage with thick padded straps and under-wires made of reinforced steel that would challenge even superman.  Unfortunately for me, all that reinforced engineering doesn't come cheap.

There was a brief window of time where my anonymous daughter was desperatly looking through pretty lacy bras hoping to find one that had a size she could wear, and I was shocked to see just how much padding almost every bra had.  Some advertised that they would increase you a full two cup sizes.  I only wish there were equally effective tools for altering other body measurements.  I  have owned a girdle or two, but none that took me down two full sizes.  Imagine if you could shrink from a 16 to a 12 by just wearing the right undergarment!  Of course, anything that would squish, stuff, and shape you that well would probably make it impossible to breathe or eat while wearing.    Maybe I'll just by a padded bra for the top and some padding for my tush, and then my waist will look tiny by comparison?   Throw on some 6 inch heels, and I might pass for tall and skinny!

Enjoy your Day, Enjoy your Life

P.S.  I had to add some obscure internet reference.  So for those of you who thought that the Weird Science movie idea of wearing a bra on your head was almost a good idea, here is the product for you!

Over The Should Bolder Holder Shower Cap

Friday, January 7, 2011


It's Friday.  A working Friday for my husband, and school of course for the kids, except for the one who managed to convince me he was sick, although, he's acting awfully spry right now.  As Travis was coming into the room for the 18th time to tell me he really felt sick this morning... but now he's hungry and bored, my golden retriever was doing a fancy dance with a high pitched whining sound track.  I thought the perfect solution was to send the restless "sick" kid out in the yard with the whining dancing dog.  Travis was under strict instructions to watch the dog and keep her from digging.  (we have a gopher she loves to try to dig up... but that's another story for another day)  Enough time passed, and I thought I needed to check on them.  I wandered across the patio and looked over the landing down to the grassy portion of our yard.  There I see the dog desperately trying to dig up a gopher, and Travis swinging the oddest tool I've ever seen.    The tool was about 3 feet long and looked a flat metal end with fluted edges.  When I asked Travis what he was holding, he told me it's an old fashioned lawn mower.  He began swinging it like a pendulum from his shoulder height on the left to the ground and back up to the shoulder height on the right.  Back and forth... and sure enough the darned thing was cutting the grass!  Who'd have thunk?  I don't know if I'm more stunned that it did cut the grass, or that my 11 year old knew what this obviously outdated tool was for.

Well, of course something like this sends me to search the web.  I love the Internet!  Can you believe there is actually an  Old Lawn Mowers Club and an annual rally for owners?  If you missed the 2010 rally, fear not.  A new one is bound to come up in 2011.  The site claims people come from all over the world with their antique mowers.  It sounds like all the excuse I need for a trip to Europe.  Maybe I'll take a cruise to get there... can you bring a lawn mower on a cruise ship?  This is apparently the year for European cruises.  There are tons of deals and steals going that way.  Check out this site. Kelley's Friend Debbie's Cruise web site   My dear, close friend Debbie is a cruise broker, and she will get you a great deal.  But if you're going to the Old Lawn Mowers Club Annual Rally, be sure to let me know.  Maybe we can get a group rate.

Enjoy your day - Enjoy your Life

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Ripping off the Band-Aid

 I'm not very experienced at blogging, but I'm very experienced at yammering.  So hopefully, it translates to this medium.  Time will tell I suppose.  I have been debating what would make the ideal first post.  And as I do, life is passing by.  Finally I decided it's like ripping off a band-aid.  So in an effort to get it over with, here is the first post.

I am a married mother of three, a stay at home mom, school volunteer, chief chef in the family, and master launderer.  OK...  there are a couple of lies buried in there.  I outsource the chef duties as often as possible.  And the laundry is primarily an opportunity waiting to be explored.  It is now standing in small mountains and hills strategically placed in each room.   I have many times subscribed to the FlyLady method of working through things, but clearly, with one look around my home, you can see I'm off the wagon now.

So what am I spending my day doing?  I should be packing away Christmas decorations, taking the vacuum cleaner to the repair shop, beginning my 2011 get in shape plan, or tackling any one of the mountains of laundry.  But the reality is I'm sitting here blogging in the hopes that enough people will click on the ads inserted on this page that someday I can pay a maid, a trainer, and maybe a decorator.  At this rate, I may need a whole team of maids, so please click generously on ads!

I'm not only blogging though.  In the back ground I've stumbled on a show called RuPaul's Drag U.  They are taking women and letting them work with Drag Queens to become fabulous!  I need to find out how to get on this show!  Do you think my children would faint if I showed up at the school dressed like a drag queen?    I'm thinking that would leave me looking something like Dolly Parton...  I can only wish at least!

I found a program that will morph your photo into celebrity photos  (  Sadly they didn't have Dolly Parton.  I had to settle for Pamela Anderson..  I know you're dying to see...  So here it is...

 So this is me.... exciting right?

And this is me morphed with Pamela Anderson... I kind of look like a slutty Sarah Palin.  I'll bet Slutty Sarah doesn't have mountains of laundry to do.
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